Darling Chicka, I absolutely love it when God reveals something new to you.  You just absolutely shine off the page! 

Let it go, little sister.  It was never meant for you.  Once you do that, you can open your hands wide for what God truly has for you.

I love you, little Chicka.  I'm so sorry that people have beaten you down and made you to feel less than what you really are.  The enemy is a liar, and will tell you whatever he needs to tell you to cause you to turn your eyes away from Jesus.  The enemy will tell you that you're not good enough, that you're ugly, fat, worthless; whatever buttons he needs to push he'll push.

But God says you're righteous, God says you're perfect just the way you are.  He says 'come unto me' now, just like you are.  You don't have to get your act together or lose ten pounds or do your hair a different way or change you clothes.  Just come, just like you are, He loves you so perfectly.

It's really so easy, and we try to make it so hard.  Be strong.  Take what you've learned from this situation and use it to make you even stronger. Don't ever let someone convince you that you're less than what you were created to be.  Worth more than rubies, you are.

hey im sorry that u are going thru this hard time....i hope that things get better and that you feel better soon....you always have come across to me as a strong person and a really good person...dont lose sight of the great person u are...i know its hard because we question who we are when something like that happens...i do it all the time...so i cant say dont but i can say try to look at your greatness and not at his failure to see your greatness....its his loss.....and i know that is easier said than done .....so hold on strong and keep your head up

lots of hugs and prayers

betz

Darling Chicka, the enemy is a liar and he isn't very smart or creative.  He basically has four lies that he tells us over and over again, in many different ways.  The trick is for us to learn to recognize his lies and call him on them.  Here they are:

1. I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.
2. I must have the approval of certain others to feel good about myself.
3. Those who fail (including myself) are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.
4. I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.

OK, here's the good news: Because of Christ's redemption, I am a new creation of infinite worth. I am deeply loved, I am completely forgiven, I am fully pleasing, I am totally accepted by God. I am absolutely complete in Christ.*

When you get these things down into your spirit, you will be amazed at the changes in your life.  Begin to notice the things that make you sad or uneasy or feel bad about yourself, then notice how they all fit into one of the four lies from the enemy.

For instance, someone tells you that you're not pretty enough, that's lie #2. Who are they to judge beauty?  Someone tells you that you didn't do something right, that's lie #3 and then you look for ways to punish yourself.

You are deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing and totally accepted by God. End of story.  No one else's opinion matters; only what God thinks.  He's the one Who created you and He's the one you answer to.

I truly hope you can learn these truths as you go sailing through the years on your way to life, sweet Chicka.  They will turn your life around.

Love, Gina

                                                                *from Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee

((((((((((((Chicka)))))))))) It's good to see an update from you! YAY for the voice teacher! Go you for doing it!

  Many prayers and much LOve,

          Jewel

Dearest Chicka,

Sorry I haven't visited you for ages.  I loved this entry.  It was very thought-provoking.

I love you, dear sister, and I continue to pray for you, each night.

Love always,

Minty.

So sweet, chicka, and so true.  I love the idea of raining on other people!  Sometimes it's just a little sprinkle, but we live in such a thirsty world. 

Keep shining, and keep doing what He created you to do.  You are always in my prayers, my sweet little sister.  Love, Gina

that's good chicka!  I have heard about negativity fasts before.  You can do it.  Know that it's okay if you need to talk or need advice to get it out.  I pray that you do this as the Holy Spirit leads you.  In the new testament every single book talks about suffering.  It's the normal christian life apparently.  Who would have thought?  The first Christians were excited and counted it joy to suffer for His sake.  We don't think that way.  I love you.  I am glad that we are friends.  Have a good day.

Brooke

Hi Chicka...I wondered if you would pick up on that.  I think it is not just my eating, it is all my destructive behaviors such as gambling, smoking and eating.  I guess they are all gluttony though.  You have such a gift, if you think of it would you pray for me concerning this bondage of gluttony.  Pray for me to understand how it has such a hold on me and help me to break the bonds it has on me.  Thank you sweet Chicka.

Love you...M

Thanks you Chicka for your wise words of wisdom, I felt they were led by the Spirit...I read them twice and I am allowing them to sink in.  Your right there has been a major shift in me the last 6 months and I feel as though I am losing faith and I don't have the strength to fight anymore, so I am surrendering and praying for guidence.

Take care and love...M

[realdeal]

(((((((((((((((((Chicka))))))))))))) I like your idea about not talking about our problems but once! I think we tend to dwell on them too much and tend to see what's wrong with us rather than focusing on what's right with us!

   I'll be praying for you over this!

   Keep celebrating God's Love for You!

   Loved the last paragraph...a beautiful reminder to us all!

   Love you!,

      Jewel

((((((((((((((((((Chica))))))))))) It's always a Blessing to hear from you!

   I am grateful that my bipolar is better and that I am able to do normal things!

   I am grateful that my relationship with Jess has sooo improved!

   I am grateful that God has been my strength while I've had to deal with mom's absense.

 Much Love to You!,

      Jewel

Hi Chicka...I feel like I have been neglecting mdd too.

I am grateful for my job

for my car running well

and the health of my family

love you too.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9Chicka))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) You are strongly in my prayers...and will be so each morning!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love you!,

       Jewel

I would love to hear the full story.  My email is bbarsell@hotmail.com

love you and praying for you!

I love you and I am praying for you.  One thing that I had to do was to start running again.  I just did it because I was sick of complaining about how I felt in my clothes.  I am just wondering though, why are you dating this guy?  You are not equally yoked and you can't expect God to change him, I mean, I am sure that he will but you want and deserve God's best.  I am praying for you.  I just release boldness and holy determination in Jesus name.  Rise up warrior.  God sees you and beautiful and bold and lovely.  Lean into Him. 

Brooke

That was very beautiful Chicka and I prayed along with you for you and for me...thanks for helping me pray.

Love you...M

Darling Chicka, sorry it has taken me so long to leave you a comment. I'm sure many things have happened since you wrote this entry, and I was just wondering how you were.

Personally, I just have to say this guy disappoints me.  A lot.  Pulling you down until you're lying on top of him is just wrong.

If he truly cares about you, he would be more careful about your feelings and your emotional comfort. And those roaming hands. If he truly cares about you, he will respect your boundaries. And if he truly cares about you, nothing could keep him away from you.

I'm sorry you wasted your first kiss on him. You're much too priceless to be treated with any amount of disrespect, darling girl

  Hello Chicka, you can email me at fieldhandministries@yahoo.com 

Hi Darl.  You can email me at norahedov@msn.com

Thank you!

Minty.

I've just been back over the last year of your diary, and I have noticed that many of the photos you posted have since been moved, perhaps to other folders in PhotoBucket.  Once you move the photos, even to another folder, the link is broken and you need to repost the pictures from their new location, so that they can still be seen.

Also, I was just thinking... if you are ever coming to Brisbane for any reason, please let Timmy and I know, and we could perhaps arrange to meet up with you somewhere for lunch or something.  It would be great to meet you in person and have some quality time together.  What choo tink???

Love ya!

Minty.

I read a new study on the Internet news today that said that elderly people are the happiest people of all, because they have lived long enough to lower their expectations of life.  The lower our expectations, the less we are likely to be disappointed, and the happier we will be. 

This is not, however, to say that we should lower our STANDARDS.  We shouldn't.  We should still do our best in all that we do, and strive for the best in life, but not expect too much.  I think there may be quite a lot of merit in that. 

I have decided to lower my expectations and be happy with what I have, and anything else will be a bonus, so happiness is more of a sure thing.

Of course, I still believe in aiming high, and reaching for the stars, but there needs to be a balance, and we need to be prepared for failing to reach our goals and have a contingency plan in place, so that we are not left devastated, should God have a different plan for us than the one we made.

Love,

Minty.

What a beautiful little baby.  Congratulations, Darl. 

He has the cutest chin.  One of my friends, who has a cleft in his chin, calls it a "bum chin," but I think it is simply adorable.  It will be a "hot" feature for him when he is all grown up.  He's already a little hottie!  God bless him, and you too, Chicky!

Minty.

In my experience, you know a guy is "into you", if he is patient, really interested in you, and he just loves to spend quality time talking with you, without having to get down to the nitty gritty! 

Sadly, most guys want just one thing, and if they don't get it, or don't think they are likely to get it, they will try someone else, or even take a girl by force.  There are good men in the world, of course, but women are much more driven by the need to be hugged, loved, nurtured and protected, and to have deep and meaningful talks, and men are driven much more by the need for sex. 

I'm not putting men down here, but there are undeniable differences between the sexes, and young women, even older women, have to make sure they don't yield to a man's desires, out of fear that he will dump them otherwise.  It is important to hold out for the best possible man, no matter how long it takes.   Don't get caught in the all-too-common trap of seeking out a good-looking man.  Too many good-looking guys don't have the character to back it up, because they have relied on their good looks to get a girl all along.  A clever man, who is perhaps plainer than his prettier brothers, has developed his personality and his character to where he will often make a much better life partner.

For me, good looks are nothing more than a bonus, because, when you fall madly in love with someone, they suddenly become the most gorgeous person on the planet, anyway.  God planned it that way.

A good man will respect you, and not put the hard word on you all the time.  Yes, he might get a bit carried away, from time to time, after all, he is a man... but a really good man will respect you and put you, your needs and your feelings first.

Don't worry about your first kiss being wasted on this guy.  It wasn't really a kiss.  It was nothing more than his excuse to get his hands on your bits.  It is an all-too-common ploy, believe me.  Your first REAL kiss will be something to remember and cherish.  The next boy who goes the grope when you kiss should be told immediately that his hands should remain around your waist, and nowhere else.  Perhaps you could gently place his hands around your waist when they start to wander, so that he will know that you have standards and boundaries.  If you don't see him again after that kiss, you will know he is not for you, because he was planning on getting more than you gave, and was not into you enough to wait around, for however long it should take, even if it should be years.

This is THE simplest, most no-nonsense way of finding out if a guy is into you.  If you set your boundaries and make them clear to him, and refuse to allow him to everstep the line, and he does a bolt, then you have your answer, as painful as it might be for a little while, but it is better to hurt a little now, than a whole lot later on.

Chicka, you need to be the one to call ALL the shots.  Continue to be strong and don't settle for anything less than the best, and make sure you don't do anything that you don't feel 100% good about.  You call the shots.  You be the boss of your own body and your own life. 

If, when you are alone with a guy, and you feel anxiety, or a sick feeling in your stomach, get out of that situation immediately, and make sure you are never induced to drink before being alone with a guy.  You need to be in complete control of your senses, so that you won't be lulled by the alcohol into a false sense of security.  Many guys know that alcohol makes a woman let her guard down, and they take advantage of that knowledge.

Guys are walking hormone vessels, especially in their teens and early twenties.  There is barely a minute of any day that most of them aren't thinking about sex, to some degree.  I know!  My Hubby has told me so.  They are always "ready", whereas women need to be wooed, wined and dined.  Remember this, Darl, and keep your head about you, at all times, when you are with a guy.  It sounds like you have been doing this very well so far, so keep up the good work.

Don't worry about not being pretty enough.  You ARE pretty enough, but you need to wait for the right guy to come along, and when he does, you will know it, because he will be your everything, and he will treat you the way you want to be treated (I pray) and you won't want to live a day of your life without him, and he won't ever want to be without you.

Remember that men place sex on the top of their list of things they want in a relationship, whereas women place it about fourth, and that men and women are very different.  Men are also more likely to go for looks than women are.  But you needn't worry.  You are a pretty princess, and somewhere out there is a wonderful man who will cherish you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.

In my experience, if you have to ask the question, "Is he into me?" then the answer to that question is that he probably isn't.  But, not always.  In my experience, when I have doubted if someone has been into me, then I have learned that they weren't, and when I have had the distinct feeling that they WERE into me, they turned out to be definitely into me. 

You gain a sense of this as you get older, because of life experience, and because your intuition kicks in the older you get, especially in mid-life.  I know that doesn't help you much now, but try and listen to your intuition and watch his facial expressions and body language.  What does it say?  Is he gazing lovingly into your gorgeous eyes, and probing your mind, because he hangs off every word you say and finds you to be a fascinating person?  Or is he taking quick glances at your breasts and your bum, and looking for the next opportunity to go the grope???

Write down a long list of all the wild and wonderful things you want in a man, and then check them off, one by one, if he happens to fit the criteria.  Also, make up a list of pros and cons that you can see in the man, and decide for yourself if he is what you want.  Don't be so hung up on whether or not he is into YOU!  Decide whether or not you are into HIM and go from there.  If you are not into him, then you can cross him off your list of potentials. 

It is important to turn things around and make a choice for yourself, and don't focus so much on allowing the guy to make the choice as to whether or not he wants  you.  Don't put yourself down.  Just naturally assume that you are attractive, and desirable, because you are, and let the suitors come and go, depending on whether or not they fit your criteria, as in the old days when suitor after suitor would visit the home of a pretty lady, and try to woo her. 

If you view yourself as being sought after, which you will be, then you will attract men to you, but if, on the other hand, you wonder if you are good enough, or pretty enough for the men you like, then they hold the balance of power.  Remember that women hold the balance of power, because they have what men want more than anything.  You have a precious jewel that is highly sought after.  When I refer to "power", I don't mean that you should lord it over men.  Not at all.  But women need to be aware of the power they have been given, and use it correctly, admirably, and to their own advantage, when it comes to finding a suitable life-mate. 

I am not suggesting that you be conceited or anything like that.  You would never be like that anyway, but it is essential that women realise what they have, and not sell themselves short, or settle for less than the very best.  You are the honey pot, Sweetie, and they are the bees.  Make sure you realise that, and make your choices accordingly.  Remember that if you aren't one guy's cup of tea, then it is his loss, and he can move on and make way for the next hopeful.  If you lose one you really like, console yourself with the knowledge that it wasn't meant to be, because he obviously wasn't want God had in mind for you.

It's all a question of how you view yourself, and that is why it is important that you see yourself as precious and valuable, and never let any man tell you you are cold or frigid, just because you won't have sex with him.  Boys tried that with me when I was a teenager, and I was too young and inexperienced to know that it was just a cheap ploy of theirs to try and get me to prove them wrong.  I didn't bite, of course, as I was saving myself for the man I was going to marry, but I went on for ages thinking there was something wrong with me, until my Hubby came along and showed me that I was perfectly okay after all.

Be one step ahead of these guys, Darl.  They will try anything they can think of to get what they want.  They are testosterone on legs.  Sorting the wheat from the chaff isn't easy, when you are young, but I could do it now, in a trice, but I am fifty years old, and not in the dating game anymore, and that is why I am sharing my knowledge with you, in the hope that it will spare you from unnecessary pain and heartache.

Know that you have something that men want.  Sorry to be so blunt, but it is true.  There is nothing wrong with waiting.  Plan your steps.  Play it safe.  Be patient.  Trust no one, until they have fully earned your trust.  Trust must always be earned, never given to strangers or people you haven't known for very long.  It even helps, sometimes, to set harmless tests for those we have just met, to see if they are trustworthy or not. 

Never put yourself in a dangerous situation, not even just once.  Don't accept drinks from strangers.  Watch your drink the whole time you are at a night club or a party.  Be on the watch for predators.  They are out there, but at the same time, enjoy yourself and be young and free, and responsible and careful.

If you have the money to buy a book that I am going to recommend that you read, I strongly suggest you do buy it and read it.  It is entitled, "Why Men Don't Listen, and Women Can't Read Maps."  It is written by Allan and Barbara Pease, and it is the most enlightening book I have ever read.  It is written in plain English, so it is easy to understand.  It strongly highlights the differences between men and women, and I feel it is information that young women, especially, should know... immediately. 

Forewarned is forearmed!  (Those who know that something is coming are better prepared to face it than those who do not know.) 

People perish for a lack of knowledge... about all things.  I wish I had known when I was your age what I know now, and books are one of the best ways to learn important things.

Remember that Jesus warned us to be as cunning as serpents, but as gentle as lambs.  This applies in all matters. 

Of course, I will always help and advise you, whenever you would like me to, and sometimes, even when you don't want me to, because I love you and I care about you very much, little Chicky!

Much love,

Minty.

Dearest Chicka!  So sorry I have been absent for so long, but I am back now, and able to read diaries again, now that I have more time.

What an amazing dream!  It's so true, we do get distracted from the mansions in our lives, by the little things that don't matter.  Thanks for sharing.

Love always,

Minty.

I am in total agreement with you!  I was one of those girls with a damaged self esteem because I had been sexually abused during my growing up years.  I thought no one would ever want me, and so I chased after the wrong things for many years.  When God brought Chuck into my life I didn't even recognize him.  I was chasing after someone else.  I am so thankful that God didn't allow me to totally go down the wrong path, but instead caused me to turn around and see the man He had created for me.  There is nothing on earth that can compare.

It's all about timing, and if we're willing to wait on God's timing.  Not ours.

He will make all the waiting worthwhile, little Chicka.  He is preparing you and preparing your future husband.  It's a faith-building exercise, so easy to see when you're on the other side of it.  Not always easy to see while you're waiting.

I pray that God will strengthen you daily to face the challenges in your path.  Love, Gina

((((((((((((((((((Chicka)))))))))))) I too am still in the wilderness...Love , hugs and prayers are being sent your way!

Darling Chicka, we're supposed to be set apart and different.  The world is supposed to be able to look at us and know that we're not like everyone else.  The Bible even calls us a "peculiar people."  So if we're going where everyone else goes and drinking what everyone else is drinking and talking like everyone else is talking, how can we be set apart?

I don't think God intended for us to sit home alone and read the Bible every night; the key is finding a balance.  The Word says for us to stay in balance, because the enemy roams about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.  It's when we get out of balance that we get into trouble.  We can be out of balance in almost any area of our lives.  After all, there are ditches on both sides of the road and they're both just as dangerous.  The key is staying in the middle, staying in moderation in all we do.

I choose not to drink.  Does that mean I condemn those who do?  Nope. It's just a choice I've made, a boundary I've set for my own life.  But whatever God convicts us of we have to be careful not to try to make a doctrine out of it and go around trying to convict everyone else of it.  There are some things that God allows others to do that He doesn't allow me to do, and vice versa.  He's a God of individuality.

So I say pray and seek His face and His will for your life.  Allow Him to help you draw boundaries in your life and in your actions, and help you stay within those boundaries.  Then as long as you remain inside those boundaries you'll be blessed.  You have so much to offer and you are such an individual.  I know God is doing wondrous things in your life and there is much more to come.

Love ya, little sister.

I have come to realize this week just how much i need to give things to the Lord, and how much I haven't been. So we all have our moments I guess, where we have to pull back and look at what were doing to see if it is going in the right direction.

I was having a huge problem with fear. Not a constant fear. But when the fire happened in my home I handled it with panic, and I wondered why I did not put God before at that time. Something to think about.

Then Ive been very depressed, and Ive been thinking where have I been putting God in my life, with all these dark feelings. More to think about.

Its so good to read you guys diaries. You know I read about all the things your going through  and how your handling it. Whats going on in your head and I realize some of these things are going on in my head too. And some of these things I just need to hear.....maybe its things that should be going on in my head...but I haven't thought of it yet.

God talks to us however He can.....May He bless you this week. Love, Alice

(((((((((((((((Chicka))))))))) I see God working in you and through you sooooo very much! YAY YAY YAY!

   I'm so glad that you can hear God so clearly and that He is teaching you soooo much soooooo fast!

   Congrats on enrolling in school! GO YOU!

    My prayers are with you!

     Love,

      Jewel

Hi Chicka...I would say leave him alone too.  He knows how you feel and if he feels strongly enough about you and he is a good guy he will end it with his girlfriend before starting something with you.  If not I can only see heart ache in this for you sweetie and I don't want to see you hurt.

Love you...M

Don't you just love that realdeal and her Valentine pictures?  She is the best!

Great entry, Chicka.  We all need to remember to focus and to keep our hearts in the right place.  I think that's why I love that song "Heart of Worship."  It reminds me WHY I worship.

Happy days, Chicka.  God is at work!  Love, Gina

Dear Chicka,

   Thank YOU so much for your note and sharing! I needed that today!  It reminded me that God is and will intervene for me!

    Thank YOU for sharing with us what you are learning and reminding us that GOD WILL LEAD US IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!

    Much Love and Gratitude,

           Jewel

Thank you so much for your sweet comment (:
ahaha cant wait till you get pictures of him
ive got to see him lol
God bless you love <333

Congratulations on your precious new nephew.  I speak blessings over him in the Name of Jesus.  I say that he has a destiny and a future; God has plans for him to accomplish and has anointed him to fulfill them.  He is blessed coming in and going out.  I bind the power of the enemy in his life, and I say that he will accomplish all that God created him to accomplish. 

Congratulations, chicka! He is absolutely beautiful.  Love that little chin!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! Congrats to Mommie, and to Auntie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is soooo precious Auntie B!!!

No wonder you have fallen so deeply inlove.

 He's such a beauty! I love little ones when there that small. I wish I could hold him.

Thanks for your comment. I don't think you were being hard at all,  I appreciate what you had to say. I need to ask for the Lord;s help more often. Pray, pray pray.

You take care. I want to see more pics.....God Bless! Love, Alice

I don't trust situations like that. I you sure Katie is OK. Are you sure....these guys...are well intentioned. I mean Katie disappeared upstairs....did she go up and stay up there by her own decision to do so.....are you really sure about that.....so many guys and two girls....see that situation is funny to me....you may have left at a good time. I am praying for katie and praying that you and katie get this situation sorted out.

Subtlechicka, you have to be true to yourself. If you want to have fun,have it with people of your own faith. Im a believer, and I have fun. Im even older, and I have fun. Just being faithful doesn't mean stopping all fun. I still rock n roll with my husbands band. I have a good time with friends. There doesn's have to be talk of sex in front of each other. But there are couples and singles. And kids. We joke. We have a drink here and there. Everything in moderation. Be discerning.

Anyways, I think Im going to use your suggestion of putting a pic in every entry. Thanks for sharing that.

I hope everything will turn out for you and your feeling better. HUGS. Love, Alice

Hi Sweetie.  Good on you!  That is a quality decision!  We become like those with whom we spend time; today's actions become tomorrow's habits, and habits are hard to break, once they are well worn in, so cutting the clubbing lifestyle early is the best thing you could do.  Each of us is a direct product of the choices we have made in life.  I pray for you to have strength and ongoing conviction regarding this decision, as you change those you've kept company with for a more mature, godly group who will ensure your growth in Christ and your ultimate happiness.

Love and hugs,

Minty.

I am standing in the gap for your brother.  I am believing God for a miracle.  There are angels assigned to stand guard on his behalf and I broke off that spirit of addiction.  May God's kingdom come in his life and overwhelm him.  Yeah, pray for James and I.  He is a really great guy and we really enjoy one another.  Pray that God's purposes would be established in our lives and let me know if God shows you anything regarding us.  I love you and thank God for you.  I can't wait until we are in Heaven, worshipping God face to face, discovering more of His beauty and get to talk face to face.  I am really excited.  I prayed for you as well.  I prayed that God would surround you with some really great friends that love Him as well and that understand you.  That is really important, to have people like that in our lives.  Jesus is so amazing, can't even give it justice.  Thanks for writing, it's good to keep in touch.  I like you a whole bunch

Have a great day and I will keep praying!

Brooke